Love hurts

[skb]

That is what The Penn State University found, especially for older people with conditions like arthritis or diabetes

http://news.psu.edu/story/520727/2018/05/15/research/love-hurts-spats-spouse-may-worsen-chronic-pain-other-symptoms

[Shanny]

We used to go a few rounds in the very early days, but I gotta say we truly don't have spats anymore - haven't for many years. Maybe we just got to know each other better, or we don't take ourselves so seriously in our old age, but I can't even remember the last time we had a disagreement, let alone a fuss.

[skb]

Same here. In 19 years, I can remember only 1 disagreement Ami & I had, which was also happily sorted out with a small discussion.

[Tamagno]

The two of you are likely fortunate. My wife and I sporadically have some discord, but I've rarely been one to engage in endless arguments and neither of us likes the constant battles I've observed in many marriages.

Of course, these social "science" studies are often interesting like this one, but always are suspect by their very nature. Doubtless there are threads of truth, but there are too many variables that confound results...

[skb]

The two of you are likely fortunate. My wife and I sporadically have some discord, but I've rarely been one to engage in endless arguments and neither of us likes the constant battles I've observed in many marriages.

My first one was like that and the separation has been even more bitter. I guess, the second innings brings with it a lot of maturity and the sense to avoid the mistakes that were made first time around.

[Shanny]

I think my second time around the biggest factor was in being able to recognize personality traits. I was young & dumb the first time & married a handsome man who was an emotional cripple that treated me like property. Toughed it out for 18 years before I realized I didn't have to pay for that mistake my entire life . . . I could acknowledge my error & move on to a decent life.

When I met DH I knew he was the real deal - not manipulative or phony. We've been together 33 years & counting. Besides which, DH is a handsome man too . . . not a pretty boy, but very good looking! 

[bigskygal]

My first time around, I didn't realize quite how good I had it. Boring, but safe. Second time I was swept off my feet lots of adventures and treats, but an underlining sense of threat/abuse. I did love DH2 and still mourn his passing, but in retrospect there were times when it was not so good...

[Tamagno]

Can't say my dad was able to teach me a lot, but I seem to have learned something about marriage, at least. Dad was married three times with each one being a worse match. Having observed all the wreckage, I waited until my mid-30s and vowed to stick with it which has had many great benefits through these 30 years.

[rocky]

I don't know about the physical pain, but I have been in a couple of unpleasant relationships, one of them violent, and I must say, that's no life.